Sales Therapy 101: Breaking Your Fear of Cold Calling

<p>Almost every day, visitors to my Unlock The Game™ website click on my live instant-messenger chat button, which invites them to "Ask Ari a selling question."</p>

<p>The fear of cold calling is a painful, daily struggle for many entrepreneurs and salespeople who have been trained in traditional selling techniques.</p>

<p>Traditional sales trainers answer questions about cold calling this way:</p>

<p>"All you have to do is make more phone calls."</p>

<p>"All you have to do is think more positive thoughts."</p>

<p>"Just learn to accept rejection as a normal part of selling."</p>

<p>In other words, "It's your fault that you aren't succeeding in sales."</p>

<p>1. It's Not Your Fault</p>

<p>We can't help thinking there's something wrong with us if other people keep telling us that something shouldn't be a problem, but our own inner feelings tell us that we aren't comfortable doing it.</p>

<p>There's a sort of "old boys' club" sales-conditioning mentality prevalent in English-speaking countries, including the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand, that says, "I had to suffer to succeed in sales success, so you need to, too!"</p>

<p>This thinking comes from traditional sales programs that continue to be the accepted approach to selling.</p>

<p>What you need to understand, though, is that you may fear cold calling because you have probably been exposed only to traditional selling approaches, which triggers rejection.</p>

<p>These approaches teach us to make cold calls this way: introduce yourself, explain what you do, suggest a benefit to the potential client...and then close your eyes and pray that they won't reply with "Sorry, not interested" or "Sorry, I'm busy."</p>

<p>If you're still using this traditional approach, you probably hear responses like these the moment you stop talking.</p>

<p>They're rejections, and what they do us make you feel rejected -- and that's reason enough to make you dislike, fear, and avoid cold calling.</p>

<p>How can cold calling be a positive experience if rejection is the most common response you get?</p>

<p>2. Are Your Self-Perceptions Passive or Aggressive?</p>

<p>Whenever I chat with people about the fear of cold calling, they almost< always tell me that they're afraid to make cold calls because they don't want to be perceived as "aggressive."</p>

<p>This is another part of the internal battle -- they beat themselves up for being too passive and lacking the confidence to make the next call, but they don't want to call for fear of being seen as aggressive.</p>

<p>Here's the good news: there is a middle ground between "aggressive" and passive."</p>

<p>It's a place where you can be who you are while still being extremely effective with cold calling, without ever experiencing rejection again.</p>

<p>Unlock The Game™ shows you how you can be incredibly effective in cold calling without triggering rejection from potential clients. Imagine the possibilities (and the income potential).</p>

<p>3. Learn to Let Your Language Match Your Thinking</p>

<p>If you can center yourself into a place where you can let go of feeling that you have to go on using traditional cold calling "scripts" and behaviors, you'll find yourself spontaneously using language that you would use in a natural conversation.</p>

<p>Using natural words and phrases -- speaking exactly the way you would with someone</p>

<p>you know, can transform cold calling into a refreshing and productive experience.</p>

<p>And, as you let go of the old-school cold calling model, in which your product or service is your only way of generating a phone conversation with a prospect, you'll make the most crucial transition of all: you'll begin thinking of approaching potential prospects not from your perspective, but from theirs.</p>
<p>What do I mean by that?</p>

<p>Imagine what it would be like if you could hear your prospect's thoughts about the problems they are having -- and that your solution can solve.</p>

<p>Even more importantly, suppose you could also make note of the words and phrases they're using as they think about their problems, and that you could take that language and embed it in your cold calling approach.</p>

<p>"Yes, but how would I do that?" you might ask.</p>

<p>It's simple. Just ask your current clients what three core problems your product or service has solved for them.</p>

<p>When you change your thinking, you can't help changing the language that you use, which lets you connect in a whole new positive way with the other person you are calling.</p>

<p>If you can let go of your old-school belief system and open up to the possibility that there is a more natural, comfortable way to cold call -- one that doesn't trigger rejection -- you'll be surprised by how easily you'll break through and overcome your fear of cold calling.</p>

<p>Bruce, one of my Unlock The Game™ clients, did just this... and here's his story (click the PLAY button to listen).</p>

Dead Silence From Your Prospect : The Worst Sound Of All

<p>Could this be the worst moment in your selling cycle?</p>

<p>You've done all the right things with your prospect:</p>

<p>• You've identified a real need and developed a reasonably solid relationship.</p>

<p>• You've determined that your prospect is interested in your solution.</p>

<p>• You've had a couple of great meetings or conversations that let</p>
<p>   the prospect move the sales process forward.</p>

<p>• You've supplied everything needed to  make a final decision.</p>

<p>• And you've followed up, as customary, by leaving messages or e-mails to see if you can get a final decision, But instead, all you're hearing is dead silence.</p>

<p>Not a word. Not a peep.</p>

<p>"I don't get it," you say to yourself.</p>

<p>"Everything was going so well, there's definitely a fit, we had a good relationship.</p>

<p>Then, all of a sudden, nothing.</p>

<p>What went wrong?</p>

<p>I know this feeling well because just about everyone who gets in touch with me (and I speak with dozens of you almost every day) struggles with this exact desperate situation --- wondering what went wrong, why your prospect has broken off communication, and, most importantly, what you can do about it.</p>

<p>The only person who can solve this mystery is -- guess who? Your prospect.</p>

<p>You may have done all the "right" things throughout the sales process, but, somewhere along the way, he or she has never felt truly comfortable enough to tell you the truth about where they really stand with the decision to buy or not buy your solution.</p>

<p>Why not?</p>

<p>Because in most cases prospects don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you something that might disappoint you.</p>

<p>The problem is, something in your selling approach (your tone of voice, your attempt to create forward momentum, your use of traditional sales language) told them that the most important thing on your mind was making that sale.</p>

<p>However, what your selling approach must do is let prospects feel comfortable telling you the truth, all the way through the sales cycle, about exactly where you stand with them, without their having to worry that you'll feel disappointed.</p>

<p>This is the gap that makes it easier for prospects to break off communication, because keeping you at bay lets them feel safer and more in control.</p>

<p>So, how do you get to it?</p>

<p>Not by moving forward, but by moving backward to try to repair the hidden break in the relationship. "I don't understand," you say. "How would I do that?" It's simple:</p>

<p>1. Just Give your prospect a call (avoid leaving a voicemail, and send an e-mail only if you have no other options) in which you convey the following message:</p>

<p>2. "Hi John, it's Ari with XYZ company, how are you? John, I'm not calling about moving the project forward or anything about the project itself. I'm just calling to apologize...I haven't heard from you for a few weeks and I figured it must be my fault or something that I may have done, maybe I dropped the ball somewhere along that way...so I'm simply calling (or writing) to see if you wouldn't mind sharing some feedback so I can improve for next time?"</p>

<p>In other words, you apologize.</p>

<p>That's right -- you apologize because it's crucial for you to take the high road and be willing to be told that something on your end did cause the communication breakdown.</p>

<p>However, most of the time, prospects will find your apology so disarming that they'll stop worrying about you trying to "sell" them and will finally feel comfortable telling you their truth.</p>

<p>Try it, and let me know how it goes.</p>

Are You Risking The Relationship for the Sale -- And Then Losing the Sale Anyway?

Losing a sale can be disheartening, especially if you lose it for reasons you aren't even aware of.

Traditional selling approaches tell us that sales are usually lost because of some element -- price, features, benefits -- having to do with our product or service.

So, when we sell, we naturally focus on what we're selling because we feel we have to differentiate our product or service so prospects understand what we're offering that's unique.

But...what if focusing all your energy on WHAT you're selling is actually the main reason

WHY you're losing sales?

"Not possible!" you say. No?

Let's hear, in my client Ryan's own words, what happened to him.

His story will help you realize why you may be losing sales without really understanding why.

Ryan's story points to a very important lesson: if you don't have an approach that is a perfect balance of nonaggression and effective penetration of your prospect's core needs, you'll end up asking yourself time after time, "Why am I losing sales, and why has selling become so painful?"

You can risk the relationship and lose the sale, but with a different sales mindset, you don't risk anything at all -- because you can preserve the relationship, and make the sale.

Aikido and The Art of Selling

What's your first instinct? Most of us will do one of two things. We’ll either try to step away, or we’ll raise our arms to deflect him and fight back, which can result in harm to you or to your attacker.

But if you were trained in Aikido, the Japanese martial art that focuses on diverting an attacker’s energy, you could quickly diffuse the situation by immobilizing him without harming him in any way.

In essence, you’re diffusing the energy that he’s using to try and attack you in a way that takes the conflict out of the situation.

Unlock The Game and the philosophy behind Aikido have many similarities.

Traditional cold calling and selling are designed to focus only on the "close" by presenting -- or in too many cases, "pushing" -- your solution onto prospects, sometimes even when they’re not interested.

But if you focus only on your goal of making the sale before having a discussion about the problems that you can help your prospects solve, something happens.

They start feeling that you’re "attacking" them. After all, you’re a stranger to them, and when you start talking about yourself and your solution rather than about them and their specific issues, you immediately trigger their suspicion and cause them to start "pushing back."

This pushback is the resistance or energy that Unlock The Game teaches you to diffuse. Then both of you can quickly "get on the same page" and open a natural dialogue that will let you determine whether it makes sense for you to work together.

Let's look at two real selling scenarios -- cold calling and "get-you-off-the-phone" objections:

Scenario 1: Cold Calling

Suppose you’re at your desk and you receive a call from someone who says "Hi, my name is Jack Johnson, I'm with XYZ Company, and we’re a full-solution provider of..." Is your first reaction to welcome and be open to his call? Or do your mental defenses immediately kick in and you shut down against this stranger "salesperson"?

Probably the latter, especially if you sense that the caller is focused on his interests and not yours.

That’s why this old-school cold calling approach triggers the resistance and negative energy that prospects immediately throw your way.

The Unlock The Game way to make a successful cold call -- "successful" being defined as not triggering rejection -- is by beginning your call with, "Hi, my name is Jack, maybe you can help me out for a moment?" That simple question is a very natural way of beginning a conversation with a stranger.

But you can't just read this word for word, like a script. It won’t work. That would be like an Aikido instructor teaching a first-time student the physical movements before he or she has learned the philosophy necessary to carry them out.

The same applies here. First you need to integrate a new Mindset that changes the goal of your call from making the sale, or getting an appointment, to engaging the person in a natural two-way dialogue.

To do this, your voice has to be low-key. You have to avoid communicating any hint of typical "salesperson" enthusiasm, or any sense that you’re trying to direct the conversation to an end goal. Once you integrate the Mindset, all this kicks in naturally.

So, if you want to succeed in prospecting and cold calling, become aware of how you might be triggering the resistance or energy that instinctively causes prospects to push back against you.

Scenario 2: "Get-you-off-the-phone" objections

Here’s another example. Forget the idea of "overcoming objections." Doing that only triggers more resistance from prospects that’s very difficult to diffuse.

Think about it for a moment. When prospects give a reason why they don’t want to proceed --when they "put up resistance" -- you’ve been trained to "overcome" their objections rather than to diffuse their resistance by acknowledging that what they’re telling you is their truth.

By applying the Unlock The Game Mindset™ and skills, you diffuse that resistance and remove the conflict from the situation, just as in Aikido.

Here’s the Unlock The Game™ process for dealing with objections:

1. Diffuse the objection with "That's not a problem... (Pause)"

2. Acknowledge the truth of their objection (see the sample language below).

3. Reopen the conversation with "Would you be open to..."

For example, suppose a prospect says, "We already have a vendor." The path of diffusing and reengaging would go like this:

1. "That's not a problem...(Pause)"

2. "I wasn't calling to replace the vendor you’re currently using." Here, you’re addressing their suspicion that your only focus is on making the sale and on ripping out their relationship with their current vendor. You’re simply asking whether they would be open to different ideas that might help them solve a problem. This diffuses the tension.

3. "Would you be open to some different ideas that you might not be using now?" After the tension is dissolved, this lets you reopen the conversation in a natural way because they clearly understand that your goal is to help them. Then, if things are a match between you, you can decide where to go from there.

Keep in mind that this process will work only if you fully integrate the Mindset so it feels as natural to you as breathing.

In short, if you’re using any form of traditional selling, you could be triggering a resistance every time you communicate with your prospect.

But if you learn this new Mindset, along with words and phrases that remove any conflict or tension from the relationship, you’ll have taken your first steps toward your black belt in unlocking the cold calling game!

7 Ways to Stop Chasing Decision Makers

You’ve put your heart and soul into doing what you’re best at -- explaining the benefits of your solution but working hard not to come across "salesy" or pushy.

As far as you’re concerned, you’ve done everything right.

Now you’re on the phone with your contact. You’re hoping this will be your last conversation before they fax the contract through.

Finally you ask, "So, is the agreement ready to be signed?" There’s a silence, and then you hear the disheartening words: "Oh, I realize that I should really have Mike and Julie, look at it before I send it over."

Talk about being set up to believe everything was going to be smooth sailing -- now a big wave has overturned the boat and it’s sinking fast! Why didn’t he tell you he wasn’t the final decision maker? Why did he lead you on?

Most important, what can you do to stop this from happening again?

Don’t despair! Here are seven ways to end the chasing game with decision makers:

1. Understand the psychology of working in an organization.

No one in an organization wants to make a wrong decision and then be left holding the bag and looking bad. What’s more, in many cases even CEOs of companies can’t make final decisions without the other executives on their team buying in.

So, even if your contact tells you that he or she is the only one making the decision, in most cases that’s highly unlikely, especially in larger organizations. Once you understand that, you’ll find it easier to roll with the news that others are actually involved in signing off on the decision.

2. Make sure your contact has the authority to sign the agreement without approval

from others.

How many times have you been told: "I’m the decision maker, and I decide if we’ll purchase your solution or not"? Contacts may say this with total confidence, and we usually take them at their word, only to discover later that they didn’t want us bypassing them to get to the other decision makers. Here’s how you can avoid this situation: After they tell you they are the decision maker, you simply say in a relaxed, easy-going conversational manner, "Oh, okay. No problem. So, basically you’re the only person who signs the agreement, and no one else needs to be involved with this decision?"

It’s amazing what happens when you ask this question. First, there’s likely to be a short silence, and then all of a sudden you learn that other decision makers are involved. Once you know this, you can rethink your approach.

3. Don’t panic when you discover other decision makers are involved.

Don’t get thrown off track when you suddenly learn, deep into the sales process, that other decision makers need to be involved in the decision. When this happens, gently suggest that it might make sense to come up with a way to get them involved with the proposal so they won’t be caught off guard.

4. Suggest a conference call to connect with the decision makers.

Suppose you find out that two other decision makers are involved. Now you have a total of three! What can you do to avoid the delay that’s inevitable when your contact tells you, "I need to get hold of Mike and Julie, but they’re both traveling, so I’ll get back to you after I speak with them"? This situation is often the black hole of selling, because you can wait for weeks until your contact tracks down Mike and Julie and gets back to you.

Here’s how to avoid this: You simply say, "Okay. No problem. Sounds as if Mike and Julie are an important part of the process…I’m wondering if it might make sense to pull together a brief conference call with you and them so that they can get an overview of what’s happening. That way you can avoid chasing them down, and everyone can get up to speed at the same time. Does that make sense?" Also, the answer you get will tell you a lot about where you really stand. If your contact says, "Sure. That makes sense. Let me schedule it," things are looking good. But if you hear, "Nah, I’ll just try and get hold of them when I can and then get back to you," he could be saying, "We aren’t really that interested."

5. Work with your main contact to set the agenda for the conference call.

If your contact agrees to the conference call, spend some time working together on a well-thought-out agenda. Emphasize that your main purpose is simply to inform the others about what has happened so far. It’s crucial that you assure your contact that during the call you will in no way apply any type of sales pressure on the other decision makers.

Why is this important? Because many times contacts are reluctant to pull together a call because they’re afraid that the salesperson will put the participants on the spot, and that would make things awkward for everyone. When you begin the call, simply say, "The purpose of our call today is simply to bring you up to speed on what has happened so far so you all have the information you need to think this solution through at your own pace. Here at XYZ, we don’t believe in pressuring people to make decisions." Your contact will love you for this.

6. Ask your contact to arrange the conference call.

When you suggest a conference call with all the decision makers, it’s important to put your contact at ease. Too often, salespeople get anxious and say, "I’d be happy to contact the other folks and schedule the call for a time that works for all of us," but that may make your contact think you’re going to try to influence the others before the call.

To avoid accidentally triggering any "sales alarms," simply ask your contact if he or she would be open to coordinating the call: "It might make sense if you could e-mail them to coordinate a time for all of us to connect, since you’re closer to them than I would be."

7. Get to the truth about where the deal stands.

So you have the conference call and you feel it went well, with lots of good discussion. Your intuition is telling you that everyone seemed positive about your solution. Now you want to find out the truth about where the deal stands, but you need to be careful not to call your contact and put subtle pressure on him or her to give you a final answer.

You want to get that answer without asking outright, but you can’t until you’ve uncovered the truth about where everyone stands. When you call your contact back, don’t use the tired phrase, "I’m just calling to follow up." That just kicks off sales pressure. Instead, say, "I’m just giving you a call to see what kinds of questions the others on the call might have, since those types of calls don’t always address everyone’s issues or concerns." This will allow your contact to talk about where he or she stands, and you can then ask, "Where do you think we should go from here?"

These seven tips will help you put an end to the dreaded game of chasing decision makers.

7 Ways to Sell and Retain Your Integrity

Making more sales while retaining your integrity -- is it possible to do both?

Here are seven suggestions:

1. Focus on the getting to the "truth" of your potential client's situation. You may or may not be a fit for each other, so focusing on the end goal of making the sale only derails the trust-building process. Without trust, you compromise integrity.

2. Eliminate rejection once and for all by setting realistic expectations and avoiding traditional sales behaviors such as defensiveness, persuasion, and over-confidence. If you're not trying to sell, you can't be rejected.

3. Stop "chasing" potential clients who have no intention of buying. How can you do this? Shift your mindset and boost your truth-seeking skills so that you can quickly, yet graciously, discern whether the two of you are a potential "fit" or not.

4. Avoid calling people "prospects" or even thinking about them that way. People are people, and when you label them in your language or your thoughts, you dehumanize them and the sales process. "Prospect" reinforces the notion that sales is only a "numbers game." Train yourself to think about "potential clients" instead.

5. Take the "cold" out of your cold calling. Don't start with "Hi, my name is... I'm with... We do...". When you begin a conversation by making it about you, instead of about the other person, you immediately cut off the possibility of opening a dialogue. Try the more humble approach of asking "Maybe you can help me out for a second," and keep in mind that you're really calling to help them solve their problems.

6. Don't try to "overcome" objections. Instead, determine whether the objection is the client's truth or not. Then you can decide whether to continue to open the conversation.

7. Avoid using "I" or "We" in your e-mail communications to potential clients. These words indicate that the focus of your communication is on satisfying your needs rather than solving their problems. This sets the wrong tone for a potential relationship.

7 Ways to Get to the Truth : When the Sale "Disappears"

You're close, really close, to making a sale. Your potential client is in the market for your product or service and you've had a couple of good meetings.

Have you been in this situation before?

Of course you have--we all have, and it's painful. So, can you keep from getting dropped? Yes--With the Unlock The Game™ Mindset, you can abandon the salesperson role and come from a place of integrity that stems directly from your personal brand that doesn't compromise your authentic self. This opens communication with your potential clients so you can learn the truth about their situation--and that's what you always want.

These suggestions will help:

* Don't assume the sale. Potential clients are used to the traditional buyer-seller relationship, so they may decide not to tell you things that might make them vulnerable to you. Until you're sure you know the complete truth, you can never assume the sale.

* Keep making it easy for potential clients to tell you their truth. Toward the end of your conversation, ask, "Do you have any more questions?" If potential clients say no, follow up with the 100-percent-final truth-gathering question: "Now, are you 100 percent sure that there's nothing else that I can do on my end to make you feel more comfortable with this situation?" You'll be amazed how often people then say, "Well, actually, there is one more issue..." And it's at that point that you really start to hear their truth.

* Call back to get the truth, not close the sale. Most potential clients who suddenly "disappear" will be expecting you chase them down by calling them and saying, "Hi, I was just wondering where things are at?" Instead, eliminate all sales pressure by telling them that you're okay with their decision not to move forward, based on their not having called you back. In other words, take a step backward. Most of the time, it'll open the door to a new level of open, trusting communication.

* Reassure potential clients that you can handle a "no." Of course we'd rather not hear a "no." But the only way to free yourself and your clients from subtle sales pressures is to let them know that it's not about the sale but about the best choice for them--and if that means no sale, it's okay, because it's ultimately not about you but about them.

* Ask for feedback. Whenever potential clients "disappear," call them back (e-mail them if you have to, but only as a last resort because dialogue is always better) and simply ask, "Would you please share your feedback with me as to how I can improve for next time? Now that our sales process is over, I'm committed to understanding where I went wrong." This is not being feeble or weak -- it's being humble, which often triggers the truth.

* Don't try to "close" a sale. If your intuition tells you that the sales process isn't going in the direction it should be going - which is always toward greater trust and truth--trust those feeling. Then, make it safe for potential clients to tell you where they stand. It's simple--all you have to say is, "Where do you think we should go from here?" (But be prepared: you might not want to hear the truth of how they're feeling. You can cope with this by keeping your larger goal in mind, which is always to establish that the two of you have a "fit.")

* Give yourself the last word. Eliminate the anxiety of waiting for the final calls that will tell you whether the sale is going to happen--instead, schedule a time for getting back to each other. This eliminates chasing. Simply suggest, "Can we plan to get back to each other on a day and at a time that works for you--not to close the sale, but to simply bring closure regardless of what you decide. I'm okay either way, and that'll save us from having to chase each other."

You'll find that these suggestions make selling much less painful because, with Unlock The Game™, you learn to focus on the truth instead of the sale.

7 Ways to Cut Loose from Old Sales Thinking

Regardless of what product or service you’re selling, you should be able to relate to her dilemma.

Outdated sales skills fail to address the core issue of how we think about selling and unless we get to that core and change it once and for all, we’ll go on struggling with the same counterproductive sales behaviors.

And we’ll continue believing that we’re always just one new sales technique away from the breakthrough we’re looking for.

New Thinking = New Results

Maybe it’s time to take a different approach. Maybe we need to analyze our thinking and identify why we’re not making more sales.

Take a look at the table below and think about your current selling mindset.

How would your selling behaviors change if you changed your sales thinking?

Old Sales Mindset Vs New Sales Mindset

1. Always start out with a strong sales pitch Vs Stop the sales pitch. Start a conversation.

2. Your goal is always to close the sale Vs Your goal is always to discover whether you and your prospect are a good fit.

3. When you lose a sale, it's usually at the end of the sales process. Vs When you lose a sale, it's usually at the beginning of the sales process.

4. Rejection is a normal part of selling, so get used to it. Vs Hidden sales pressure causes rejection. Eliminate sales pressure, and you’ll never experience rejection.

5. Keep chasing prospects until you get a yes or no. Vs Never chase prospects. Instead, get to the truth of whether there’s a fit or not.

6. When prospects offer objections, challenge and/or counter them. Vs When prospects offer objections, validate them and reopen the conversation.

7. If prospects challenge the value of your product or service, defend yourself and explain its value. Vs Never defend yourself or what you have to offer. This only creates more sales pressure.

Let's take a closer look at these concepts so you can begin to open up your current sales thinking and become more effective in your selling efforts.

1. Stop the sales pitch. Start a conversation.

When you call someone, never start out with a mini-presentation about yourself, your company, and what you have to offer.

Instead, start with a conversational phrase that focuses on a specific problem that your product or service solves. For example, you might say, "I'm just calling to see if you are open to some different ideas related to preventng downtime accross your computer network?"

Notice that you are not pitching your solution with this opening phrase. Instead, you're addressing a problem that, based on your experience in your field, you believe they might be having. (If you don't know what problems your product or service solves, do a little research by asking your current customers why they purchased your solution.)

2. Your goal is always to discover whether you and your prospect are a good fit.

If you let go of trying to close the sale or get the appointment, you’ll discover that you don't have to take responsibility for moving the sales process forward.

By simply focusing your conversation on problems that you can help prospects solve, and by not jumping the gun by trying to move the sales process forward, you’ll discover that prospects will give you the direction you need.

3. When you lose a sale, it's usually at the beginning of the sales process.

If you think you’re losing sales due to mistakes you make at the end of the process, review how you began the relationship. Did you start with a pitch?

Did you use traditional sales language ("We have a solution that you really need" or "Others in your industry have bought our solution, you should consider it as well")?

Traditional sales language leads prospects to label you with the negative stereotype of "salesperson." This makes it almost impossible for them to relate to you with trust or to have an honest, open conversation about problems they're trying to solve and how you might be able to help them.

4. Hidden sales pressure causes rejection. Eliminate sales pressure, and you’ll never experience rejection.

Prospects don’t trigger rejection. You do -- when something you say, and it could be very subtle, triggers a defensive reaction from your prospect.

Yes, something you say.

You can eliminate rejection forever simply by giving up the hidden agenda of hoping to make a sale. Instead, be sure that everything you say and do stems from the basic mindset that you’re there to help prospects identify and solve their issues.

5. Never chase prospects. Instead, get to the truth of whether there’s a fit or not.

Chasing prospects has always been considered normal and necessary, but it’s rooted in the macho selling image that "If you don’t keep chasing, you’re giving up, which means you’re a failure." This is dead wrong.

Instead, ask your prospects if they’d be open to connecting again at a certain time and date so you can both avoid the phone tag game.

6. When prospects offer objections, validate them and reopen the conversation.

Most traditional sales programs spend a lot of time focusing on "overcoming" objections, but these tactics only create more sales pressure.

They also keep you from exploring or learning the truth behind what your prospects are saying.

You know that "We don't have the budget," "Send me information," or "Call me back in a few months," are polite evasions designed to get you off the phone. Stop trying to counter objections. Instead, shift to uncovering the truth by replying, "That's not a problem." No matter what the objection, use gentle, dignified language that invites prospects to tell you the truth about their situation without feeling you’ll use it to press for a sale.

7. Never defend yourself or what you have to offer. This only creates more sales pressure.

When prospects say, "Why should I choose you over your competition?," your instinctive reaction is to defend your product or service because you believe that you are the best choice, and you want to convince them of that. But what goes through their minds at that point?

Something like, "This ‘salesperson’ is trying to sell me, and I hate feeling as if I'm being sold."

Stop defending yourself. In fact, come right out and tell them that you aren’t going to try to convince them of anything because that only creates sales pressure. Instead, ask them again about key problems they’re trying to solve.

Then explore how your product or service might solve those problems. Give up trying to persuade. Let prospects feel they can choose you without feeling sold.

The sooner you can let go of the traditional sales beliefs that we’ve all been exposed to, the more quickly you’ll feel good about selling again, and start seeing better results.

7 Pitfalls of Using Email to Sell

* Fear of rejection. The sheer negative force of anticipating rejection makes people turn to e-mail to generate new prospect relationships because it hurts less to not get a reply than to hear that verbal "no."

* Getting blocked by gatekeepers and voicemail. When salespeople don't know how to break through the barriers of gatekeepers and voicemail, they start thinking, "Forget it -- it's not worth the aggravation, and it takes too much energy. I'll just e-mail instead."

However, when you try to use e-mail to offer your product or service to someone who doesn't know you, you can't possibly establish the natural dialogue between two people that allows the trust level to reach the level necessary for a healthy, long-term relationship.

We all know how much everyone hates e-mail spam, but even so, many salespeople are still sending introductory e-mails to decisionmakers. They feel that, because they're from a credible organization, they won't be associated with the negative image of a spam solicitor.

However, these introductory e-mails typically contain the traditional three-part sales pitch -- the introduction, a mini-presentation about the products and services being offered, and a call to action -- and this traditional selling approach instantly tells the recipient of the e-mail that your only goal is to sell your product or service so you can attain your goals, and not theirs.

If you're still using email to sell, watch out for these 7 pitfalls:

1. Avoid sales pitches. If you feel you must use e-mail to start a new relationship, make your message about issues and problems that you believe your prospects are having, but don't say anything to indicate that you're assuming that both of you are a match.

2. Stop thinking that e-mail is the best way to get to d ecisionmakers. Traditional selling has become so ineffective that salespeople have run out of options for creating conversation, both over the phone and in person. However, it's best to view e-mail as a backup option only, not as a way to create new relationships. Try to use it primarily for sending information and documents after you've developed a relationship with a prospect.

3. Remove your company name from the subject line. Whenever you put your company and solution first, you create the impression that you can't wait to give a presentation about your

product and services. Your subject line should be a humble reference to issues that you may be able to help prospects solve.

4. Stop conditioning your prospects to hide behind e-mail. When you e-mail prospects, it's easy for them to avoid you by not responding. Also, they get used to never picking up the phone and having a conversation with you -- and they may want to avoid you because they're afraid that, if they show interest in what you have to offer, you'll try to close them. This creates sales pressure -- the root of all selling woes. This avoidance becomes a vicious circle. If you learn to create pressure-free conversations, you'll find that you'll start getting phone calls from prospects who aren't afraid to call you.

5. Avoid using e-mail as a crutch for hand ling sticky sales situations. Are prospects not calling you back? Many salespeople who call me for coaching ask how they can get themselves out of sticky situations with prospects -- but the e-mails they've sent have already triggered those prospects to retreat. It's tricky to come up with the correct softening language in an e-mail that will re-open a conversation with a prospect who has decided to close off communication -- direct, person-to-person phone calls or meetings are much easier and more human.

6. Avoid using "I" and "we." When you start an introductory e-mail with "I" or "we," you immediately give the impression that you care only about selling your solution, rather than being open to a conversation that may or may not lead to a mutually beneficial match between what you have to offer and the issues your prospect may be trying to solve. If you can change your sales language to a natural conversation, your prospect will be less likely to stereotype your message as a spam solicitation.

Finally...

7. If you can, stop using e-mail selling altogether. There is a way to renew your confidence and eliminate your reluctance to picking up the phone and have pleasant conversations with potential prospects. Learn a completely new way of working with gatekeepers that will get you past voicemail and to your decisionmakers without the rejection and frustration that are inevitable with traditional selling approaches.

For all these reasons, you should think of e-mail as your last resort. If you can learn to pick up the phone without fear, start a trusting conversation with a gatekeeper, learn how to go beyond voice mail and find your decisionmakers, you'll join the many who have made their own personal selling breakthrough.

7 Cold Calling Secrets Even The Sales Gurus Don't Know

Cold calling the old way is a painful struggle.

But you can make it a productive and positive experience by changing your mindset and cold calling the new way.

To show you what I mean, here are 7 cold calling ideas that even the sales gurus don't know.

1. Change Your Mental Objective Before You Make the Call

If you’re like most people who make cold calls, you’re hoping to make a sale -- or at least an appointment -- before you even pick up the phone.

The problem is, the people you call somehow always pick up on your mindset immediately.

They sense that you’re focused on your goals and interests, rather than on finding out what they might need or want.

This short-circuits the whole process of communication and trust-building.

Here’s the benefit of changing your mental objective before you make the call: it takes away the frenzy of working yourself up mentally to pick up the phone.

All the feelings of rejection and fear come from us getting wrapped up in our expectations and hoping for an outcome when it’s premature to even be thinking about an outcome.

So try this. Practice shifting your mental focus to thinking, "When I make this call, I’m going to build a conversation so that a level of trust can emerge allowing us to exchange information back and forth so we can both determine if there’s a fit or not."

2. Understand the Mindset of the Person You’re Calling

Let’s say you’re at your office and you’re working away.

Your phone rings and someone says, "Hello, my name’s Mark. I’m with Financial Solutions International. We offer a broad array of financial solutions. Do you have a few minutes?"

What would go through your mind?

Probably something like this: "Uh-oh, another salesperson. I’m about to be sold something. How fast can I get this person off the phone?"

In other words, it’s basically over at "Hello," and you end up rejected.

The moment you use the old cold calling approach -- the traditional pitch about who you are and what you have to offer, which all the sales gurus have been teaching for years -- you trigger the negative "salesperson" stereotype in the mind of the person you’ve called, and that means immediate rejection.

I call it "The Wall."

The problem is with how you’re selling, not what you’re selling.

This is an area that’s been ignored in the world of selling.

We’ve all been trained to try to push prospects into a "yes" response on the first call. But that creates sales pressure.

But, if you learn to really understand and put yourself in the mindset of the person you call, you’ll find it easier to avoid triggering The Wall.

It’s that fear of rejection that makes cold calling so frightening.

Instead, start thinking about language that will engage people and not language that will

trigger rejection.

3. Identify a Core Problem That You Can Solve

We’ve all learned that when we begin a conversation with a prospect, we should talk about ourselves, our product, and our solution. Then we sort of hope that the person connects with what we’ve just told them. Right?

But when you offer your pitch or your solution without first involving your prospect by talking about a core problem that they might be having, you’re talking about yourself, not them.

And that’s a problem.

Prospects connect when they feel that you understand their issues before you start to talk about your solutions.

When people feel understood, they don’t put up The Wall. They remain open to talking with you.

Here’s an example based on my own experience. I offer Unlock The Game™ as a new approach in selling. When I call a vice president of sales, I would never start out with, "Hi, my name is Ari, I'm with Unlock The Game, and I offer the newest technique in selling, and I wonder if you have a few minutes to talk now."

Instead, I wouldn’t even pick up the phone without first identifying one or more problems that I know VPs often have with their sales teams. Problems that Unlock The Game™ can solve.

For example, one common problem is when sales teams and salespeople spend time chasing prospects who have no intention of buying.

So I would start by asking, "Are you grappling with issues around your sales team chasing prospects who lead them on without any intention of buying?"

So, come up with two or three specific core problems that your product or service solves. (Avoid generic problem phrases like "cut costs" or "increase revenue." They’re too vague.)

4. Start With a Dialogue, Not a Presentation

Let’s return to the goal of a cold call, which is to create a two-way dialogue engaging prospects in a conversation.

We’re not trying to set the person up for a yes or no. That’s the old way of cold calling.

This new cold calling approach is designed to engage people in a natural conversation. The kind you might have with a friend. This lets you both of you decide whether it’s worth your time to pursue the conversation further.

The key here is never to assume beforehand that your prospect should buy what you have to offer, even if they’re a 100 percent fit with the profile of the "perfect customer."

If you go into the call with that assumption, prospects will pick up on it and The Wall will go up, no matter how sincere you are.

Avoid assuming anything about making a sale before you make a call.

For one thing, you have no idea whether prospects can buy what you have because you know nothing about their priorities, their decisionmaking process, their budget, etc.

If you assume that you’re going to sell them something on that first call, you’re setting yourself up for failure. That’s the core problem with traditional old-style cold calling.

Stay focused on opening a dialogue and determining if it makes sense to continue the conversation.

5. Start With Your Core Problem Question

Once you know what problems you solve, you also know exactly what to say when you make a call. It’s simple. You begin with, "Hi, my name is Ari. Maybe you can help me out for a moment."

How would you respond if someone said that to you?

Probably, "Sure, how can I help you?" or "Sure, what do you need?" That’s how most people would respond to a relaxed opening phrase like that. It’s a natural reaction.

The thing is, when you ask for help, you’re also telling the truth because you don’t have any idea whether you can help them or not.

That’s why this new approach is based on honesty and truthfulness. That’s why you’re in a very good place to begin with.

When they reply, "Sure, how can I help you?," you don’t respond by launching into a pitch about what you have to offer. Instead, you go right into talking about the core problem to find out whether it’s a problem for the prospect.

So you say, "I’m just giving you a call to see if you folks are grappling (and the key word here is ‘grappling’) with any issues around your sales team chasing prospects who turn out to never have any intention of buying?"

No pitch, no introduction, nothing about me. I just step directly into their world.

The purpose of my question is to open the conversation and develop enough trust so they’ll feel comfortable having a conversation.

The old way of cold calling advises asking lots of questions to learn about the prospect’s business and to "connect." The problem is that people see right through that. They know that you have an ulterior motive, and then you’re right back up against The Wall.

These ideas may be hard for you to apply to your own situation at first because trying to leverage calls based on what we know about our solution is so engrained in our thinking.

If you stay with it, though, you can learn to step out of your own solution and convert it into a problem that you can articulate using your prospects’ language.

And that’s the secret of building trust on calls. It’s the missing link in the whole process of cold calling.

6. Recognize and Diffuse Hidden Pressures

Hidden sales pressures that makes The Wall go up can take a lot of forms.

For example, "enthusiasm" can send the message that you’re assuming that what you have is the right fit for the prospect. That can send pressure over the phone to your prospect.

You must be able to engage people in a natural conversation. Think of it as calling a friend. Let your voice be natural, calm, relaxed…easy-going. If you show enthusiasm on your initial call, you’ll probably trigger the hidden sales pressure that triggers your prospect to reject you.

Another element of hidden pressure is trying to control the call and move it to a "next step".

The moment you begin trying to direct your prospect into your "sales process", there is a very high likelihood that you can "turn off" your prospect's willingness to share with you the details of their situation.

It's important to allow the conversation to evolve naturally and to have milestones or checkpoints throughout your call so you can assess if there is a fit between you and the person you are speaking with.

7. Determine a Fit

Now, suppose that you’re on a call and it’s going well, with good dialogue going back and forth. You’re reaching a natural conclusion…and what happens?

In the old way of cold calling, we panic. We feel we’re going to lose the opportunity, so we try to close the sale or at least to book an appointment. But this puts pressure on the prospect, and you run the risk of The Wall going up again.

Here’s a step that most people miss when they cold call. As soon as they realize that prospects have a need for their solution, they start thinking, "Great, that means they’re interested."

What they don’t ask is, "Is this need a top priority for you or your organization to solve, or is it something that’s on the back burner for a while?"

In other words, even if you both determine that there ia a problem you can solve, you have to ask whether solving it is a priority. Sometimes there’s no budget, or it isn’t the right time. It’s important that you find this out, because months later you'll regret not knowing this earlier.

Putting the Pieces Together

Have you ever wondered where the "numbers game" concept came from?

It came from someone making a call, getting rejected, and the boss saying, "Call someone else."

But with the new way of cold calling, it’s not about how many people you call. It’s about what you say and how you come across.

Do you remember the definition of insanity—continuing to do the same thing but expecting different results?

If you go on using the same old cold calling methods, you’ll go on experiencing the ever-increasing pain of selling.

But if you adopt a new approach and learn how to remove pressure from your initial cold calls, you’ll experience so much success and satisfaction that it’ll really change the way you do business, bring you sales success beyond your imagination—and eliminate "rejection" from your vocabulary for good.

4 Classic Cold Calling Mistakes

<p>Have you noticed that the old "tried and true" cold calling techniques which were once successful have completely lost their effectiveness over the years? They just don’t work anymore.</p>

<p>But many salespeople are still use them because that’s all they know. They’re working from that old, ineffective cold calling mindset. And they’re making the same mistakes over and over again.</p>

<p>I’d like to talk about 4 classic cold calling mistakes from the old traditional approach that will put you on the wrong path if you’re not careful.</p>

<p>1. Deliver a strong, enthusiastic sales pitch</p>

<p>People almost always feel "pushed" by sales enthusiasm, especially when it’s coming from someone they don’t know.</p>

<p>You see, a strong sales pitch includes the unspoken assumption that your product or service is a great fit for the other person. But think about it. You’ve never spoken with them before, much less had a full conversation. You can’t possibly know much about them at this point.</p>

<p>So to them, you’re just another salesperson who wants them to buy something. And so the walls go up.</p>

<p>It’s much better to modestly assume you know very little about your prospect. Invite them to share some of their concerns and difficulties with you. And allow them to guide the conversation, rather than your pre-ordained strategy or pitch.</p>

<p>2. Your goal is to always make the sale</p>

<p>When your target in cold calling is to always make the sale, prospects are aware of your agenda. And almost immediately, they’re on the defensive. After all, you’re primarily focused on yourself and the sale – not on them.</p>

<p>In the old traditional mindset, you forge ahead with the hope of getting a sale. You’re coaxing, persuading, and pushing things forward.</p>

<p>But most cold calls break down the moment the other person feels this sales pressure.</p>

<p>Why? Because they don’t know you, and they don’t trust you.</p>

<p>So the sales momentum you’re trying to create actually triggers a backlash of suspicion and resistance. They’re trying to protect themselves from a potential "intruder" with what appears to them as a self-serving agenda.</p>

<p>Instead, you can approach cold calling with a different goal. Your focus can be on discovering whether you’re able to solve a problem for the other person.</p>

<p>When you become a problem-solver, this feels vastly different to the person you’re talking to. You’re not triggering rejection. You’re calling with 100 percent of your thoughts and energy focused on their needs, rather than on making a sale.</p>

<p>3. Focus on the end of the conversation – that’s when sales are lost</p>

<p>If you believe that you lose sales because you’ve made a mistake at the end of the process, you’re looking in the wrong direction. Most mistakes are made at the beginning of a cold calling conversation.</p>

<p>You see, it’s at the beginning that you convey whether you’re honest and trustworthy. If you’ve started out your cold call with a high-pressured sales pitch, then you’ve probably lost the other person in just a few seconds.</p>

<p>When you follow a sales script, strategy, or presentation, then you’re not allowing a natural, trusting conversation to evolve. So the "problem" has been put into motion by your very first words. So the place to put all your focus is at the beginning of the cold call, not at the end.</p>

<p>4. Overcome and counter all objections</p>

<p>Most traditional sales programs spend a lot of time focusing on overcoming objections. But these tactics only put more sales pressure on your prospect, which triggers resistance. And you also fail to explore or understand the truth behind what’s being said.</p>

<p>When you hear, "We don't have the budget," or, "Call me in a few months," you can uncover the truth by replying, "That's not a problem."</p>

<p>And then using gentle, dignified language, you can invite them to reveal the truth about their situation.</p>

<p>So move away from the old sales mindset and try this new way of approaching your cold calling. You’ll find yourself being more natural, and others will respond to you in a much more positive way.</p>

Do You Have to Be Aggressive to Make Sales?

We could say that Unlock The Game™ actually takes the "middle ground" between passive and aggressive by being authentically unassuming, yet effective - and that this is the most stress-free and effective way to sell.

What do I mean?

I mean that you have to shift away from assuming that every prospect is a fit for your solution.

It's sort of like the legal concept of "being innocent until proven guilty."

We can't afford to make any assumptions about "fit" until our conversation with the prospect indicates that we've mutually arrived at that conclusion.

The aggressiveness that turns off prospects sets in when you assume, every time you pick up the phone, that you have a solution for them.

Your tone of voice and language gives them that message long before they've even had a chance to agree that they have a problem you might be able to help them solve.

But if you can manage to find that middle ground of not assuming anything while also communicating in a low-key, unassuming manner, you'll discover a whole new effectiveness you could never have imagined.

Can prospects sense when you're assuming too much?

Sure they can -- because most of us have been conditioned to present or talk about our solution as a way to engage prospects so they'll reveal their problems to us.

But that logic is completely flawed, because when you launch into your solution to someone who doesn't trust you yet, all you do is allow them to pigeonhole you as a stereotyped "salesperson."

So how do you make this concept of being unassuming but effective a reality?

First, learn to start conversations by focusing 100 percent on generating discussions around prospects' problems, rather than pitching your solution the second you hear an opening.

Second, learn to begin those conversations by converting the benefits of your solution into problems that your solution can solve.

Third, after you and your prospects have identified a problem or problems, you can then engage in a discussion about whether fixing those problems is a priority.

It's only at that point that prospects have finally given you implicit permission to share your solution with them.

Jumping in with solutions prematurely will only land you back in the trap of being perceived as "aggressive."

3 Cold Calling Mistakes that Trigger Rejection

<p>Here are 3 common cold calling techniques that you should probably avoid:</p>

<p>Mistake #1: Center the conversation around yourself and what you have to offer</p>

<p>In the old approach, you introduce yourself, explain what you do, and suggest a benefit or feature of your product. And then you close your eyes and pray that the other person will be interested</p>

<p>Unfortunately, the moment you stop talking you usually hear, "Sorry, I’m busy," or "Sorry, I'm not interested."</p>

<p>You see, you’ve started your cold call by talking about your world and what you have to offer. But realistically, most people aren’t all that interested in you. When you talk about your company and your product, it’s just another advertisement to them. You haven’t engaged them, so they often just "turn the page."</p>

<p>Prospects are much more interested in themselves and what’s important to them. So if you start the conversation by focusing on their world, they’re more likely to interact with you.</p>

<p>So instead, talk about an issue or problem they may need solving. Focus on them rather than on what you have to offer. And see where it takes you.</p>

<p>Mistake #2: Be confident they should buy your product or service</p>

<p>In the old cold calling mindset, you’re taught to focus on the sale and be completely confident that what you’re offering is something the other person should buy.</p>

<p>The problem with this approach is that you haven’t asked them to determine this along with you. So think about it – in the old mindset, you’re really deciding for someone else what’s good for them. I know this isn’t intended, but that’s exactly what comes across to your prospects.</p>

<p>So rather than being full of confidence and enthusiasm, stop for a minute and think about the other individual. Relax into a real conversation instead of moving into a persuasive strategy or sales pitch. Put yourself in their shoes and invite them to explore along with you whether what you have to offer is a match for them.</p>

<p>Others really can distinguish the difference. You’re inviting them to see if you might be able to help them solve a problem. This makes for a much better connection right at the beginning, and you’ll get that immediate rejection reaction much less.</p>

<p>Mistake #3: When someone brings up an objection, try to overcome it</p>

<p>You know, one of the reasons cold calling is so difficult is that sometimes you may not be very familiar with the other person and their business. When you make that first call, you don’t know very much about their issues, problems, budget, and time constraints.</p>

<p>Chances are, not everyone is going to benefit by your product or service.</p>

<p>So realistically, your company or product isn’t going to be a match for everyone. And yet, when someone brings up an objection ("we don’t have the budget for that," etc.), the old cold calling mindset trains you to "overcome," "bypass," or "override."</p>

<p>But when you do that, you put the other person on the defensive. Something they’ve said is being dismissed. And here’s where rejection can happen very suddenly.</p>

<p>So it’s much better to listen to their concerns and continue to explore whether what you’re offering makes sense for them. There are some wonderful phrases you can use that validate their viewpoint without closing the conversation.</p>

<p>So now you’ve discovered the 3 major cold calling mistakes people often make. See if you can shift away from those old self-sabotaging mindsets. When you do, you’ll notice that people will engage you much more, and the immediate rejection you’ve grown so accustomed to will happen much less.</p>

"When Prospects Give You The "Silent Treatment"

<p>If you’ve been selling for a while, you’ve probably had at least one experience in which your prospect suddenly started giving you the "silent treatment."</p>

<p>Anthony described this dilemma very poignantly when he called me a few weeks ago:</p>

<p>"Ari, I don’t know what to do when I get hit with the ‘silent treatment’ -- you know, when I’ve worked with a prospect for quite a while, and we’ve had great conversations, and they've expressed interest in our solution -- and then all of a sudden everything stops.</p>

<p>I try calling them back once or twice. I even send a follow-up e-mail, but nothing. They just disappear. And I figure I’ve lost the sale, and I don’t know what I did wrong, or what to do next. It makes selling feel like such a painful and arduous process."</p>

<p>If this has happened to you, you may have felt anxious and confused. You may have told yourself, "It’s not as if I’m the one who did anything wrong. I put everything into the relationship. How can I rescue the sale if I can’t even get them to talk to me?" </p>

<p>The "Hopeium" Trap</p>

<p>There is a pressure-free way to reestablish communication when your prospect starts giving you the "silent treatment." But first, it’s important to understand why the situation has happened in the first place.</p>

<p>Most of us who sell get caught up in "hopeium," a comical term that means we focus our hopes and desires on making the sale. But hopeium can be a trap, because it's impossible for you to keep in mind your most important goal: to learn your prospect’s truth.</p>

<p>When we fix our minds on the outcome -- making the sale -- we automatically begin anticipating how the process will go, and we also begin expecting that things will happen as we hope they will.</p>

<p>But if we’re in that mindset and our prospect suddenly breaks off communication, we feel lost, anxious, frustrated, discouraged, and confused. We become preoccupied with what went wrong.</p>

<p>We may even feel betrayed.</p>

<p>Is there any way to clear up the mystery?</p>

<p>Yes, by giving up your agenda and learning the truth about where you stand with your prospect --and being ok with whatever the truth may be. "But how can I learn the truth when they’re avoiding me?" you may ask. "And why do I need to let go of the sale?"</p>

<p>Let’s take the second question first.</p>

<p>If you approach your prospect while you still hope the sale will happen, you’ll introduce sales pressure into the relationship. This will push your prospect away from you and destroy any trust you have developed with them. Instead, you can eliminate sales pressure by telling them that you’re okay with their decision if they’ve decided not to move forward.</p>

<p>In other words, you take a step back instead of trying to chase and follow up with calls because you’re focused on getting a "yes."</p>

<p>The bottom line is:</p>

<p>When a prospect gives you the "silent treatment," it doesn’t mean you’ve lost the sale. It just means you don’t know the truth yet.</p>

<p>What you need to do is call and learn the truth.</p>

<p>Why is learning the truth so important?</p>

<p>Here are 4 important reasons:</p>

<p>1. You stop losing confidence in your selling ability. The "silent treatment" threatens our "hopeium." We start blaming ourselves. We don’t know where we stand -- a painful state of limbo. Our self-talk is negative and full of self-blame, and we’re on pins and needles wondering whether the sale will still come through somehow.</p>

<p>2. You increase your selling efficiency and decrease your stress level. Once you learn the truth about your prospect’s situation, you can either stay involved with the prospect or move on. I often say, "A ‘no’ is almost as valuable as a ‘yes.’" Why? Because it frees up your time to find prospects who are a better fit with your solution. This lets you work much more efficiently because you can quickly weed out prospects who aren’t going to buy. Knowing the prospect’s truth lets you walk away without that guilt-laden voice whispering, "If you give up, you don't have what it takes."</p>

<p>Learning your prospect’s truth translates into tangible results that equal real dollars. You’ll also put an end to the self-sabotaging stress that comes from living in "silent treatment" limbo.</p>

<p>3. Sales pressure pushes prospects away. When you respond to the "silent treatment" with calls and e-mails, you’re really telling them that you’re determined to move the sales process forward -- which means you’re looking out for your needs, not theirs. This makes them mistrust you and run the other way.</p>

<p>4. The "silent treatment" -- totally breaking off communication -- is how prospects protect themselves from sales pressure when they don’t feel comfortable telling us their truth. The more we press, the more they run.</p>

<p>But the opposite is true, too. The more we relax and invite the truth, the more straightforward they’ll be with us. Prospects feel okay sharing what’s going on with them when they know we’re okay with hearing it.</p>

<p>How to Reopen Communication</p>

<p>After Anthony and I had talked about some of these issues, he said, "This all makes a lot of sense, Ari, but I’m still not sure what to say when I make that call."</p>

<p>It’s simpler than you might think.</p>

<p>* First, simply give your prospect a call. (E-mail and voicemail are very impersonal, so use them only as last resorts if you can't reach your prospect after several phone calls.)</p>
<p>* Second, take responsibility and apologize for having caused the "silent treatment".</p>

<p>Here’s some language I suggested to Anthony that will make prospects feel safe enough to open up and tell you the truth about their situation:</p>

<p>"Hi, Jim, it’s Anthony. I just wanted, first of all, to call and apologize that we ended up not being able to connect. I feel like somewhere along the way maybe I dropped the ball, or I didn’t give you the information you needed. I’m not calling to move things forward because I’m assuming you’ve probably gone ahead with someone else, and that’s perfectly okay. I’m just checking to see if you may have some feedback as to where I can improve for next time."</p>

<p>When you respond to the "silent treatment" this way, the results will probably surprise you. You may even learn that the prospect has legitimate reasons for not having gotten back to you.</p>

<p>You’ll also find yourself more productive and less frustrated. It’ll make a world of difference in your productivity level, your stress level, your income, and how much you enjoy what you’re doing.</p>

<p>Remember…</p>

<p>You haven’t lost the sale. You just don’t know the truth yet.</p>